Tip: An easy acronym for your difficult conversations.
H.E.A.R. is one of the best acronyms to employ when dealing with challenging conversations. Try using this simple, research-based framework from Harvard conflict management expert Julia Minson.
H = Hedge your claims, even when you feel very certain about your beliefs. It signals a recognition that there are some cases or some people who might support your opponent’s perspective.
E = Emphasize agreement. Find some common ground even when you disagree on a particular topic. This does not mean compromising or changing your mind, but rather recognizing that most people in the world can find some broad ideas or values to agree on.
A = Acknowledge the opposing perspective. Rather than jumping in to your own argument, devote a few seconds to restating the other person’s position to demonstrate that you did indeed hear and understand it.
R = Reframing to the positive. Avoid negative and contradictory words, such as “no,” “won’t” or “do not.” At the same time, increase your use of positive words to change the tone of the conversation.
Try this “conversational receptiveness” technique because research has shown that those who used it were seen as more trustworthy and more reasonable by their counterparts.