TIP: Three words to keep a conversation going.

Posted by Hailey Heimbach on Wednesday, February 25, 2026

SHEPA LEARNING COMPANY WEEKLY POSITIVE NETWORKING® TIP​
​No. 1155, February 25, 2026​
​By Gayle Hallgren and Judy Thomson

TIP: Three words to keep a conversation going.

Are you the kind of person who asks a number of follow-up questions when having a conversation? Does that make you seem pushy, and maybe even a little annoying?

Well, good news it doesn’t!

Research over the past decade has shown that people who ask more questions are actually more likeable. This makes sense--even without the research studies. Asking questions establishes that you are interested in them! You want to learn more about them, and you are willing to invest more time with them. Who doesn’t love that?

“How to Feel Loved” is a new book by Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California Riverside and Dr. Harry Reis, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. In their book they suggest that “In order to feel more loved by others, you must begin by making them feel loved by you”. Or, another way of putting it—if ‘love’ is too strong a word for some relationships—is this: To feel more liked by others, you must begin by making them feel liked by you.

The authors say becoming a better listener is one of the most powerful ways to create that feeling. “And ask follow-up questions. Dr. Reis often defaults to three words he said rarely fail: ‘Tell me more.’”

Catherine Pearson's article "What’s the Secret to Happiness? These Researchers Have a Theory" is in The New York Times.

Here is a summary of the research, It Doesn't Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking.

Categories: General

Tagged: General, Information, Tips and Tricks